Unfortunately I Cannot Think Of A Title

It was almost 2 this past Friday morning when I rolled my suitcase into my hotel room in Chicago (well, technically I was in Geneva, but considering that I have very little understanding about the locations of various Chicago suburbs, it’s sort of surprising that I even know the name of the place where we stayed). I was asleep within about ten minutes, and somehow I didn’t feel like I’d been hit by a truck the next day when I woke up at 7:30. That was the most delightful surprise.

Melanie and I spent most of the day at Tyndale, meeting with the sweet people who have worked so hard for us and our books. They made us feel right at home. They had all of our favorite snacks at the ready, and for lunch we ate deep dish pizza that was oh-so-delicious. There was also a chocolate cake that proved to be a formidable Lenten opponent; the fact that I made it out of the conference room without shoving the whole thing in my face was, in retrospect, a high point of the day.

Here! I will show you pictures!






I should point out that I did not take pictures of the cake because it had taunted me enough already.

My flight left Chicago about 6 Friday night, and while I was sitting on the airplane before it left the gate, I decided that I am fascinated by people who talk loudly on their cell phones in quiet spaces. I’m not sure if there’s an absence of social awareness (others are quiet, but Loud Talker isn’t picking up on the social cues) or if it’s just plain ole narcissism (Loud Talker feels that whatever he/she has to say is very important / entertaining and therefore a quiet plane is the perfect opportunity for others to listen and, lo, ENJOY).

‘Tis a puzzle.

By the time we landed in Birmingham, I was so ready for pajamas and bed, and both of those things happened in short order after I got home. Hazel and I had a very emotional reunion since apparently she had decided I was going to be GONE FOREVER, but after she settled down and I visited with my fellas, I proceeded to sleep so hard that I couldn’t remember a single dream and had no idea where I was when I woke up Saturday morning. In other words: SUCCESS!

Saturday (are you still awake? I know this is so boring. A thousand apologies.) I ran a ton of errands; we have a jam-packed week ahead of us, and I knew that Saturday afternoon was my only errand window. I went to lunch with David and Alex and then ran to get a pedicure before I dropped by a bridal shower. The girl who did my pedicure was so sweet, and when I realized that she was expecting a baby, we started talking about her kids. After she told me their ages and where they go to school, she said, “Do you have any children?” I told her that I have a son who’s in 4th grade, and after I said it she looked at me for a few seconds and said, “Oh. So you had him when you were, um, older?”

Y’all. I was so tickled. I knew she didn’t mean anything by it; plus, she started her family in her early 20s, so my early 30’s pregnancy would definitely be “older” to her. But all I could think of was one of my favorite Suzanne Sugarbaker lines: “Why, if I’d wanted to be insulted I would’ve stayed home and waited for a crank call.”

People are funny.

I was halfway between the nail place and the bridal shower when it dawned on me that I was wearing jeans – not exactly appropriate attire for a bridal shower – but in a fit of courage I decided that it was better to go in jeans than to not go at all; there just wasn’t enough time to run home and change. So I pulled up in the parking lot and got out of my car and prayed that my mama would not ever find out because I fear she might be tempted to disown me. I did have make-up on (even some jewelry!) and had fixed my hair and all that, but when I walked in the shower and saw everybody in cute dresses and heels, all I could think was, “OH. I have failed at Southern womanhood. It is only a matter of time before I get kicked out of the club.” Thankfully, though, Southern women tend to be polite, so nobody said a word about the jeans, and I don’t even know if anyone would have noticed if I hadn’t been so quick to apologize for what I was wearing.

Who am I kidding? Of course they would’ve noticed. It’s just easier to surround my faux pas with some degree of denial.

Today we’ve been home all afternoon, and that has been pretty much the best thing ever. I feel like I’ve recovered from the travel madness, and I’m ready to face the week. Plus, since I need to redeem myself after the unfortunate denim incident, I may even break out some spring skirts and wedges and whatnot.

Or I may just wear a lot of yoga pants and pretend like I’m on my way to the gym.

It could really go either way.

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  1. So, I think I’ve mentioned it to you in comments before, I am a Birmingham girl who moved to Silicon Valley last summer with my husband’s job. To say things are a bit more casual here would be an understatement. The first baby shower I went to, I was the ONLY one in a sundress and sandals. EVERYONE else had on jeans! It’ certainly a different, yet such a good, world out here. My new friends didn’t make a comment on my total overdressing for the occasion. ;)

  2. Brenda from Georgia says:

    I was in my early 30s when I had my second son (who is about to graduate from high school). I feel ancient when I’m around some of his classmates’ mothers.
    Chicago deep dish pizza is DELICIOUS!

  3. Karen Beymer says:

    I agree with the Spring skirts & wedges. My daughter & I vowel to only wear skirts & sundresses this spring. & summer after being bundled up all winter!
    Hope this week is not too hectic, but always in the midst remember all your gal friends are surrounding & supporting you. Blessings.

  4. Ha! They totally noticed and I’m sure when you left they all said, “Can you believe she wore jeans to a shower? Bless her heart!” :)

  5. Nancy D says:

    I so-o-o-o love it that the Tyndale folks chose to use the picture of Hazel in front of your laptop on their display. That picture just makes me all kinds of happy. Maybe they’re interested in Hazel writing a book of her own one day. I’d read it. For now, I’m eagerly awaiting the release of your next one.

  6. Oh, yes. We have been married almost a year and I am still trying to finish our thank you notes. We bought a house and are moving at the end of April and I told Ryan we were NOT moving until we had both finished all of them. I feel like a disgrace to Southern women everywhere and I know my ancestors are just a rollin in their graves right now.

  7. Tracey Knight says:

    not to get off topic, sophie, but i am obsessed with that fabric under the Tyndale spread. how fun & pretty! i already tweeted you about us mixing crystal & pewter serving dishes on saturday at a shower. we decided to label ourselves eclectic & call it good. :) bless your week!

  8. Re loud telephone talkers. Was the person old? I am and therefore can never believe that a phone that doesn’t have the mouthpiece right in front of my mouth could possibly work. I’ve been chastised o plenty for screaming on the cell phone. I am with you in principal. But my phone DNA must have solidified in 1960. I could be the only person in the universe who misses Ma Bell.

  9. Oh, Sophie! I love your writing, and love, love LOVED your book. Can’t wait for the next one.

    I co-hosted a wedding shower this weekend for the daughter of our Sunday School teacher. The other host and I wore “not-jeans”…but the bride-to-be and allllll of her friends and sisters and bridesmaids wore jeans. And thought nothing of it. And thought nothing of the fact that my friend and I wore “not jeans.”

    I’m thinking it’s a new world.

    (but my mom still wouldn’t have approved!)

  10. I love your reaction to the pedicurist (is that a word?)! I totally relate. I turned 40 and had my first Mother’s Day in the same week. Think about that!

    I live in an area where a) people get married as soon as high school is over and have their babies (usually at least four) before they’re 25 and 2)people wear jeans to a funeral. A funeral, mind you! You can only imagine what they deem appropriate for a bridal shower.

  11. What a whirlwind trip that was! Glad you got some rest though! Give yourself credit on the jean thing….in my TN town we have showers on Sundays, not Saturdays. Jeans are much more appropriate for a Saturday shower IMO.

  12. I vote for the yoga pants. All day long. And, bless your heart expo nation point at least you made it to the shower. That counts for an awful lot after a long weekend of travel. I love the pictures that Tyndale included for your boards.

  13. Seriously, I get in more trouble with this darn voice to text…

  14. Wearing my yoga pants and pretending right now!! :)

  15. In case you do get kicked out of the club, Chicago and her suburbs welcome us in with open arms and Portillo’s chocolate cake at every event regardless of how you are dressed- or maybe in spite of it. :)

  16. Re: loud talkers on cell phones…

    My favorite springtime locale is the purse section at TJMaxx when after all the grey, black and brown the purse section blooms with bright spring colors! I look forward to every March when I can visit the vibrant handbags as if I were going to zoo! A few years ago there was a VERY LOUD CELL PHONE TALKER in the purse section. A woman, perhaps in her late 50s, who was ruining my spring purse experience with her VERY LOUD TALKING. So I moved a few aisles over… to no avail, she was still too loud. So I thought, “I’ll move over to the jewelry section until she leaves”. As I’m perusing the jewelry, I hear a phone ring and very loud talker says, “JUST A MINUTE, I HAVE TO ANSWER MY OTHER PHONE!!!” At which point I turn to the gal next to me who is about my age and say, “the LAST thing that woman needs is another phone!” The gal says, “that’s my mom, I gave her my phone while I was in the dressing room”. And I died, right there in the jewelry section of TJMaxx.

    • Kelly, that made me laugh so hard. Back in the old days when my four kids were young, my least favorite shopping trip was to the dance wear store to buy pointe shoes for my oldest daughter. The owner did NOT like young children and had signs up everywhere about children being supervised. She gave dirty looks and heavy sighs … often. One glorious day, we went to buy new pointe shoes and there was a young and very nice, pleasant, smiling girl working. I was so happy! I opened my big mouth to tell her i was so happy the older, bitter woman who hated children was not there. Maybe she had retired? And young smiling woman was not amused as she explained, “That is my mother!” I almost crawled out of store.

  17. I think an appropriate title would have been “I Wore Jeans” :) I think in general what you wear doesn’t matter as much as it used to. Although, if you’re the only one in jeans, I imagine it would stand out a little. :)

  18. The last time I had a pedicure done the sweet girl commented on my strong Southern accent. She said “you sound like Paula Deen” and then she added “except you have deep voice…..deep like man!”. I died laughing. Everytime someone comments on how strong my accent is I think about how to that young lady I will always be a cross dressing Paula Deen!

  19. Lauralli says:

    We have Sunday showers here, too! Makes it pretty convenient (except the no Sunday afternoon nap thing!). Also, re: LOUD TALKERS: More than likely the person is hard of hearing or lives with someone who is……………my dad (from years of hunting without ear protection) and his wife………Oh my goodness!!! Totally embarrassing being out in public with them!!

  20. Have you seen this video of the guy cell phone crashing at Disneyland? My boys are dying for a good opportunity to do it!

  21. Destiny says:

    I had my own Suzanne Sugarbaker moment today so yours absolutely tickled me.

    I was running through Bed, Bath & Beyond and by the time I was nearing the register, I could barely see past my cart for all of the boxes. Not surprisingly, to anyone who’s known me for a sweet minute, that didn’t deter me from barreling through the store semi-screaming “Scuse me! Scuse me!” from behind the cart.

    Bless my heart!

  22. From the heart of the midwest we will accept you in jeans or yoga pants anytime. I rolled into Saturday night church at my very casual and large church. I had on nice jeans with hair done and jewelry, etc and the woman in front of me had no leggings and Sperry’s. We both looked great and Jesus didn’t care. I read something years ago about what woman thinks and wears and there’s a point that she says “I am clean and I am going!” I love that. Much more important to see who is at the table then what’s on it or what they are wearing.

  23. This post cracks me up! Love it!