Feeling Scrappy

One big reason why I started this blog is because the thought of scrapbooking totally overwhelmed me. It seemed like a mysterious world filled with adhesive letters and specialty scissors and decorative papers, a world that demanded countless hours of cropping photos and executing themes and writing captions. In bubble letters, no less.

So in order to escape the feeling that I was failing Alex miserably in terms of documenting his childhood, I decided that a blog was a fine idea. And listen – I took to blogging like a Southern girl takes to fried catfish. I wrote about our days, I kept a record of funny things the then-toddler was saying, and I even had pictures (that I could crop in seconds, mind you) to accompany the posts. The blog became – and has remained – my handy little digital scrapbook, and that suited me just fine. I’ve never once regretted my inexperience with paper trimmers and punch boards.

Well.

A couple of weeks ago Alex went with his class to Washington, DC. I have known since he was in about 2nd grade that he’d have to complete a gigantic scrapbook after the trip. And since David actually went to DC and chaperoned and helped get all the necessary pictures and walked who knows how many miles across our nation’s capital and etc., I have known for some time that any scrapbook supervision was going to be my responsibility. I think that’s oh-so-fair.

But none of that changes my my personal challenges with craftiness – and those challenges are precisely why the prospect of helping with this scrapbook has filled me with some small degree of fear and trembling.

Honestly, I’ve felt flat-out intimidated. Because do you know what crafty people have that I do not? SKILLS.

This past Friday, however, I decided that it was time to face the music (or the memories, as it were) and make a trip to Hobby Lobby for our supplies. I mentioned to my friend Heather that I could no longer put off purchasing all the much-needed papers and stickers and whatnot, and since Heather is a bit of a scrapbooking mastermind and dare I say enthusiast, she offered to accompany us on our trip to the HL. I was so thankful for her kindness that I may have cried.

No kidding. When Alex and I pulled into the HL parking lot right behind Heather and her daughter, I thought of that verse from Proverbs that says “A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.” Granted, if we were getting all technical I’d need the verse to say “sister,” but that is sort of missing the point because GRATEFUL.

Now here is where I want to be clear. I am all for helping a kid with his or her homework, but doing a kid’s project is nowhere on my parental priority list. So while yes, I am absolutely going to supervise and help with the scrapbook, I am also super aware that I completed 5th grade and all of its assignments back when Ronald Reagan was president. That is why I have tried to be exceedingly clear with Alex that he is the person in charge of writing recaps, selecting pictures, and assembling scrapbook pages. I’m mainly along for the ride to supervise the process, assist with organization, and make sure he meets his deadline.

All that to say: I know full well that the pressure isn’t on me. Even still, I walked in that Hobby Lobby and almost instantly felt like I was starting to sweat. Like, starting to sweat out of the top of my head. Hobby Lobby is a lot of seasonal merchandise and crafting supplies for a person who typically doesn’t dabble in either, so after grabbing a shopping cart and then stopping in my tracks right next to some Easter baskets, I sheepishly looked over at Heather and said, “Um. You want to tell us where to go?”

“Back there,” she pointed. “Just follow us.”

You know those times in your life when you really need for someone to take control and boss you around a little bit? THAT.

We walked to the back of the store as Heather and C talked about some craft they wanted to try (this is a discussion that I have had approximately zero multiplied by never times in my life), and when we finally arrived at the back of the store, I know for certain that my jaw dropped when I saw the TWO AISLES full of stickers that were waiting on us.

Seriously. I didn’t even know that many sticker themes were possible.

The first thing we did was get Alex to pick out a scrapbook. Heather advised that I buy an extra set of scrapbook inserts (is that even the correct term? the words have lost all meaning), so I threw those on top of the navy blue scrapbook like a wide receiver spiking a football in the end zone. Giddy with productivity, I was. But then we wheeled over to the paper aisle, and after a quick look-around, I promptly waved a white flag of surrender.

I was somewhat overwhelmed.

Eventually Alex picked out a big book of patriotic-type scrapbook papers (WHO KNEW such a thing existed? I for one did not.), and Heather and C suggested a few of the individual papers that might come in handy. By the time we got to the end of the aisle, I felt like the worst part was probably over.

But then I remembered that we still had to pick out stickers, and the top of my head started to sweat again.

(Listen, all you cute 20- and 30-somethings. I just want you to know that SWEATING OUT OF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD is totally a thing. AND IT IS YOUR FUTURE.)

(Also, be really good to your eyelids.)

(One day you will wake up and realize that they have betrayed you, and try though you may, you cannot convince them to be loyal again.)

(Insert perfunctory platitudes about the good part of the 40s being wisdom, perspective, blah blah blah blahblahtedy blah.)

When we first turned down the sticker aisle, my first reaction was to flee (lo, and quickly) because there were quite literally thousands of options and I can barely make a decision when confronted with two kinds of salad dressing. So once again I let Heather lead the way. “The Stickabilities brand is really good,” she began, “and you’ll probably…”

“WAIT A MINUTE,” I said. “DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW THE BRANDS? AND HAVE PREFERENCES?”

This was more than I could comprehend.

“Oh, yes ma’am,” Heather replied. “And I’m telling you. The Stickabilities are good.”

Needless to say, I loaded up our cart with every Stickabilities flag and eagle and USA-emblazoned medal I could find. I’m not exactly sure how many stickers I bought, but I can say without hesitation that WE HAVE US SOME STICKER OPTIONS.

At that point I assumed we were finished, but Heather said, “Hold on. You’ve got to have tape.”

“Oh, I have tape at home,” I answered.

“No – you need this tape,” Heather replied, and then she held up a package of some plastic containers that apparently dispense tape in dots. Apparently this is better for securing pictures to scrapbook pages. And suffice it to say that I was incredulous to find so many tape-dispensing options. All this time – all these years – and I’ve actually been using my hands to tear off tape strips of varying lengths. LIKE A SAVAGE.

But once the tape dots were in the cart, we were done. All finished. Fully outfitted and supplied.

By the time we made it to the cash registers, I had mentally thanked Heather and C approximately 37 times before I thanked them for real and they set off in search of other crafty items. There’s not a doubt in my mind that without their help I would have walked out of Hobby Lobby with a scrapbook, some construction paper, and about four bottles of Elmer’s glue. Their assistance really was huge. And if that weren’t enough, the scrapbook and the scrapbook paper were 50% off. I KNOW. Stickers were 50% off, too – but only the Stickabilities brand. I’m so glad we picked those. I hear they’re the best.

A few days have passed since our Hobby Lobby excursion, and while I don’t want to speak too soon, I think we’re making progress. Friday night Alex sorted all of his pictures. Saturday he wrote all of his reactions and opinions and whatnot. And Sunday he started putting everything together, which is why I looked at this pile for a very long time before it dawned on me that maybe he should pick out scrapbook paper for each page.

I believe the phrase you’re looking for is “outside of her comfort zone.”

But Alex? He is a trooper. He has really worked hard the last couple of days, and while there’s still a ways to go, by diggity we’re organized. Not to mention that we have more patriotic-themed scrapbook supplies than I even knew existed this time last week.

We’re broadening our creative horizons, y’all.

And my nerves may just live to tell the tale.