When I was a little girl and Daddy drove us on any kind of road trip, I used to marvel at the fact that we never made it more than fifteen miles down the road before Mama fell asleep, sometimes sitting straight up in her seat. There was no pillow, no blanket, nothing – but more often than not, she was making her way toward some solid REM rest before we ever crossed the state line.
At the time I wondered why she didn’t use her car time to read a book or work on a crossword puzzle or even dabble in a little embroidery. Since I never got in the backseat of the car without a sack full of Nancy Drew books and a large assortment of hair accessories so that I could fix my hair JUST LIKE I LIKED IT, it was hard for me to fathom why Mama would settle in for the ride with nothing but her purse.
I just didn’t understand. At all.
But every single trip, just as sure as the sun, Mama was book-less, magazine-less, and off to the land of nod before I made it through the first eight or nine pages of Tiger Beat magazine.
A couple of weeks ago our little family took a road trip, and I had big plans to write on the laptop while D drove. I was going to be productive! And maximize my time! And hone my bloggy craft!
And do you know what? We were no more than ten miles outside of town, and I was out like a light. Sitting straight up in the passenger seat. Probably doing a little bit of snoring.
When I woke up thirty or forty minutes later, I had a bit of an epiphany.
Mama was a dedicated housewife. She cooked three hot meals a day, kept an immaculate house, and washed several loads of clothes every single day. She exercised three or four times a week and spent the better part of twenty years driving her children all over town. She shopped for groceries, baked the world’s best pound cakes, helped her friend with a catering business and sang in the choir at church every single week.
She never, ever sat down. And she never, ever complained.
So as I struggled to wake up from my own little road trip siesta – after spending the first half of my day immersed in bed-making, breakfast-fixing, clothes-folding, suitcase-packing, way-too-little-cleaning, plus, you know, doing the other work that I get paid for – I realized that all those road trips? When Mama slept in the car?
IT’S BECAUSE SHE WAS EXHAUSTED.
And I totally get it now.
My mom used to do the same thing. Still does for that matter. Although she’s all about the travel pillow and blanket if the weather/time of day warranted it. I used to think that was so boring…who wants to sleep in the middle of the day. But now you mention it, OF COURSE it was because she was fall-over-tired!
Oh goodness. She sounds like my mom, except my mom did all that while working when we were at school. I have no idea how she held a FT job, was a super mom and wife. I can never live up to her amazing spirit, but you know, I don’t try. She now tells me she was more tired than I thought she was, so… it’s okay. Sometimes we need a nap! LOL
Amen!
I am SO all about sleeping in the car! The kid is strapped into the carseat and can’t do any damage to anything, and after 10 minutes my husband and I have exhausted our conversation topics. It’s the perfect time to grab a nap!
Just make sure that someone wakes you up at your destination if you’re not a light sleeper, so they’re aren’t any pictures floating around with your mouth wide open.
Isn’t that the truth? My mom was the same way.
Now I can hardly stay awake when I AM DRIVING! That’s what Diet Dr. Pepper is for.
HA!
Exactly how do you sleep sitting straight up? I must recline my chair as far as I can as to not squish the child behind me and steal a pillow from one of them to prop between me and the door. Only then can I doze restlessly for a few moments!
I’m a picky sleeper — have to have dark and quiet — but I’m a firm believer that naps are a true Gift from God.
Nap on, BooMama, nap on.
I don’t sleep as well as I used to in the car…not sure why! Maybe it is because, when I do get still, my mind races to all the things I said I’d like to do, so I get my bag of fun stuff and read, journal, cross-stitch, re-decorate (in my mind, of course). I really am not sure why…four children and exhaustion go hand in hand–I should be asleep.
It’s amazing the things I now realize about my mother. I find myself saying “Oh yeah! I get it now!”
Thank God for wonderful mothers!
-Andrea
Just the thought of piling into the backseat of the car with a stack of books and magazines makes my stomach do flip-flops. Even now, riding up front, closing my eyes sends me to the Land of Nausea, not the Land of Nod. Car sickness is a curse passed down from my mother to me, and unfortunately, on to my children. We sit straight up in our seats and keep our eyes on the road at all times. Boring? Quite often. But it beats the alternative!
Kudos for Mama to BooMama for being such a hard-working mom. I think I will get off the computer now and be useful. :)
I’ve pretty much apologized to my mother for my lack of understanding and appreciation for all her hard work every single day since my first child was born. (And twice daily since the second!)
I sleep on trips, too. But I did even when I was little. My husband is usually quite amazed at my fall-asleep-practically-anywhere abilities.
And, I also need to thank my mom more for all her work. It’s the complaining thing that gets me! I don’t remember my mom complaining, either. And here I find it hard not to just complain, complain, complain ALL DAY LONG!
Have to work on that, the complaining thing…
And now *I’m* starting to understand the phrase my Mama used at the dinner table…
“If you complain one more time about this meal, YOU are fixing the next one!!!”
See, no wonder I learned to cook at a small age. My Mama was SERIOUS about her threat.
Oh, my poor mother…all that work and we’d just complain complain complain…
Yes I get it!! Although, I don’t sleep in the car much. However, when my daughter used to take gymnastics, the coach said several times…’ya’ll really don’t have to sit here…” and I thought “are you kidding? It gives me a reason to sit still for an hour.” He just had a complex or something.
So glad you had an epiphany!!! Your mamma will be so proud.
No kidding!! Amen sister!
Oh, and I also get car sick if I read or write. Even in the front seat. So, sleeping is the one safe thing I can do. Besides. I HATE ROAD TRIPS. I’d much rather fly. =)
I always sleep in the car, it’s the only decent, uninterrupted sleep I get.
Plus there’s no-one sleeping leech like to my side or snoring & farting giving off more pollution & heat than a nuclear reactor.
Amen sister.
My mother and I had a conversation about this very thing. In which I basically said, “Now I understand.”
No way my poor mama could sleep in the car on our 4.5 hr trip to the lake because there were 5 GIRLS in the car with her and dad!
I still don’t know how my parents did it with 5 girls – I have one girl (never stops talking but when she is asleep or sick) and one boy (ditto)…I do remember one time my dad offering a dime to whomever was the quietest.
I figured that out when Caroline was about 6 months old and I fell asleep at the dinner table.
Holding my fork.
My husband and I have a system for road trips worked out: I get us up at whatever gosh-awful time is required. I get us packed and out the door. And then I pass out. And my husband drives. I can go and go and go, but put me in a sunbeam on a road trip and I. am. done.
Fortunately, he hates all the packing and the listing and the planning, but he’s a trooper about the driving.
So I’m glad he picked me.
Great story and I can totally relate. And a million thank yous for using the word “hone” correctly! That just might be a little pet peeve of mine. Maybe.
It must be a Southern mama thing! My mother-in-law never, ever sits down, and she’s as big as a (very tiny) toothpick. I could use more of that mindset.
And the card in the mail? Cutest child I’m not related to, ever :)
Wait a minute… what does that say about us women who can’t fall asleep in the car, even if our lives depended on it? :-)
That’s a great epiphany! I want to be that kind of mama. :0)
And the next thing you know, you’ll be talking about the weather and repeating phrases that she used to say AND………….falling under the Christmas tree. Cause you know, they say the apple doesn’t fall far…oh never mind.
Amen sistah!
I never sleep in the car because someone has to HOLD THE STEERING WHEEL when Mulletman decides to get gum out of the glovebox and tickle little girlies in the backseat and take off his jacket (or put it back on) and adjust the stereo or heat all while eating a messy Subway sandwich and DRIVING at the same time.
Never fear, though. He doesn’t EVER talk on the cell phone, (but that’s only ’cause we don’t have one!)
Now I know why I am so tired. I was thinking I needed a few more hours in each day to get things done AND have time to sleep, but what I really needed was a road trip!
It’s amazing, isn’t it, the perspective we get when we have children of our own! I always knew my mom worked hard, and I always appreciated her for everything she did. But now, now I am just flat out amazed!
Amen, Sister! or as my 2 yr old would say, “amens.”
I have always loved falling asleep in the car and luckily, have a husband that will drive while I sleep during the many family trips to visit the relatives.
I love your observation about your mother and figuring out why she always fell asleep… too good!
Now that I’m older and my girls are grown and married, working, keeping house, and having babies, I can tell you that the most beautiful words I hear these days are, “I totally get it now, Mom.”
I.love.this.post, Sophie.
I think I might need a little car trip right now myself after running all over Edmond with Reia and Reese Christmas shopping. Even after a Dr Pepper I’m still tired.
The best part is that the pants come in tall length! Also liked the chalet boots that are on sale. Fun!
Wow, no joke! Life lessons, you gotta love’em.
I can barely drive straight on a monotonous highway w/o falling asleep. I pull a “BooMama’s mama” every.single.time I’m lucky enough to be in the passenger’s seat. I always felt bad about it; now I know, it’s part of the sisterhood.
I fall asleep while stopped in the carpool line.
And how deeply and thoroughly did I celebrate the Lord’s Day tonight with a humdinger of a nap!
Naps are good. Your Mama earned them, and so do we all.
Goodnight!
I, too, have come to understand why my mom took naps in the middle of the afternoon…because that’s what the Good Lord made afternoons for. Particularly Sunday afternoon. That nap is just blessed.
Isn’t this one of those “duh” epiphanys? (or is it epiphanies?) Anyway…sometimes we just have to grow up to understand our momma’s. I’m having a LOT of those…”oh my, I understand now” moments these days…now that my kids are getting old enough to know better, but still seem stuck in the pain in the butt stage :)(can I say butt on your blog???) Anyway, I understand your enlightening moments…they are priceless.
Yeah, I’ve had a few of those myself since becoming a mom. When I was a kid, my mom homeschooled all four of us, so we were all home, all the time. She’d go to the grocery store and be gone for HOURS. We knew she was sitting in the parking lot reading a book and we’d get so mad.
I get it now.
I’ve been known to pull in the driveway, and if the kids are all asleep, I lean my chair back and sleep myself for a while. :)
I know exactly what you are talking about! I was just telling my friend a similar story this very morning! My mom cannot sit down without falling asleep. I have found myself beginning to do the same thing. It’s a little unnerving when you start to do the things you SWORE you would never do like your mother! But I TOTALLY get her now that I am an exhausted mom myself.
Miss BooMama, I like you. I just found your blog…because it seemed half the blogs I already read were talking about “BooMama’s Christmas Tour of Christmas Houses and their Christmas Recipes”…or something like that. I love your style, I love your voice. I’ll be back! Can you tell me, though, why you choose to only “syndicate” the first paragraph of your blog? You’re not the only one, but I was just wondering the “why” of it. (I’m fairly new to blogging. ;-))
That is so typical of my mom and now me. I used to read in the car but now I rest whenever I can get it.
So true, so true! You quickly learn when you are a mom that you take a little rest when you can get it!
And I hope you enjoy the broccoli soup! It is so easy and would make a perfect Christmas Eve meal!
It’s funny how we never quite know what our parents do. You writye so well it was like reading a book. I love your blog!!